Action
Love is an action word. I can't remember where I first heard that, but I've always liked it. It means that what happens in your head isn't happening at all, it's only what happens between you and others that matters. That actions are your relationships. Actions are your life.
"You either move now or later, so why not just move now?"
"You have the choice now to leave or not, but pretty soon you won't have any choice."
"You do realize, right, that you can't live there with your condition being what it is?"
A couple of months ago my grandmother fell and she couldn't get up. Not holding on to the edge of the bed, nor the night stand. She crawled to the stairs, let her legs go down a few of them, and with her legs lower than her body, was able to push herself up. At the top of the stairs. My father related the tale to me as a humourous anecdote. Which he found less funny when I told him that elderly people often suffer from Orthostatic Hypotension, which, when a body is moved from a prone to a standing position, results in a rapid loss of blood pressure leading to weakness, dizziness, and feinting.
Ever since, her children have wanted her to move out of the house and into a residence. I listen to my father on the phone trying to convince her. Standing next to me I hear him say, "mum, you'll be having so much fun there, you'll be too busy to see me. Oh, come over today? Can't there's a bridge tournament. Tomorrow? No good either, getting together with all the friends I met here."
He talks to her everyday on the phone. They all do.
When I've expressed concern over how they treat her, as she jokingly says, she used to be their mother, now she has three fathers, he says I can talk to her if I'd like.
And that's what got me back on my bike, to talk to her. When I got to her place, we sat down in the living room, and I said, "I'd like to talk to you about how you feel about your health, the idea of moving, and how your children are treating you. And I want to make it clear, that I have no opinions on you moving, I just want to make sure that your wishes are being respected in all of this."
And so, we talked.
"You either move now or later, so why not just move now?"
"You have the choice now to leave or not, but pretty soon you won't have any choice."
"You do realize, right, that you can't live there with your condition being what it is?"
A couple of months ago my grandmother fell and she couldn't get up. Not holding on to the edge of the bed, nor the night stand. She crawled to the stairs, let her legs go down a few of them, and with her legs lower than her body, was able to push herself up. At the top of the stairs. My father related the tale to me as a humourous anecdote. Which he found less funny when I told him that elderly people often suffer from Orthostatic Hypotension, which, when a body is moved from a prone to a standing position, results in a rapid loss of blood pressure leading to weakness, dizziness, and feinting.
Ever since, her children have wanted her to move out of the house and into a residence. I listen to my father on the phone trying to convince her. Standing next to me I hear him say, "mum, you'll be having so much fun there, you'll be too busy to see me. Oh, come over today? Can't there's a bridge tournament. Tomorrow? No good either, getting together with all the friends I met here."
He talks to her everyday on the phone. They all do.
When I've expressed concern over how they treat her, as she jokingly says, she used to be their mother, now she has three fathers, he says I can talk to her if I'd like.
And that's what got me back on my bike, to talk to her. When I got to her place, we sat down in the living room, and I said, "I'd like to talk to you about how you feel about your health, the idea of moving, and how your children are treating you. And I want to make it clear, that I have no opinions on you moving, I just want to make sure that your wishes are being respected in all of this."
And so, we talked.
posted by christopher hearns at 4.10.07
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