What an asshole

You know when ducks fly overhead in that V formation? You see it a lot when they migrate. Picture it in your head. But picture it how it really is. Picture them flying imperfectly, like they do, the ducks moving in and out of a perfectly straight line. The formation widening and tightening as they slow down and speed up. But most importantly, picture one line longer than the other, because one of them always is.

When I see them flying overheard, I always ask the people I'm with if they know why one line is longer than the other. When they say they don't, I look them right in the eye and say, "because it has more birds in it."

No smile on my lips.

One of my favourite jokes. Not everyone can tell it. People have to think you're a bit of an asshole. An arrogant asshole. When you ask them the set up question, they have to be thinking, "Oh, here he is, about to show off how smart he is. What an asshole." They have to be expecting you to hit them up high. But then you come down low with the answer and they think, "that's fucking obvious. Oh! I get it. He's showing off how smart he is. What an asshole."