Growing up

My friend, he recently gave his son the sex talk; a son I've known since he used to pretend to be spider-man and I was a skyscraper.

He said, "I know you don't want me to talk to you about sex. I know when I was younger I ignored everything my father said including his warning to wait until I was married. I know that I wished that, when he had said he wants to talk about sex, I had responded, so what do you want to know. However, aside from waiting until you are much much older, there is something I want to share with you."

"You don't have to have sex. If you don't want to, don't. Nobody has to have sex. That goes for her, too."

"You don't like it when you are forced to do something you don't want to, or when someone tries to convince you to do something you don't want to do, so if your girlfriend says, she doesn't want to have sex, then don't. And don't try to convince her."

This differs greatly from the two sex talks I got growing up.

My mother's second husband, while we were watching a cop show with a victim of sexual assault, said to me, "if you ever rape anyone Chris, I'm not calling the cops, I'm dragging you outside and beating the fuck out of you until the cops drag me away."

This threat came from a man who used to kick and punch a mattress that was thrown over my mother until she stopped making noise.

My father on the other hand, as we were driving I can't remember where, laughingly shared a line from his youth delivered by the lead actor from a porno film, "I'm going to rape the shit out of you." He said he could never forget that line.