20140416

Me

Ask the people I work with to name five things about me. What I believe in. What I care about. What my dreams are. What I do when I'm not at work. Five things that aren't simply what I look like.

After eighteen months of working five days a week with them, after eighteen months of eight hour shifts, after more time spent with them than with anyone else during those eighteen months, they wouldn't be able to name four between the lot of them.

They've invited me to join them for breakfast tomorrow morning before our shift starts. "Thanks", I said, smiling, "I think I'll be sleeping in though."

20140406

Together?

What would you say if you knew that I had cheated on you? Would you understand? I'm still hoping to find out one day.

My friends have tried to tell me that this is ridiculous. That I'm ridiculous. They tell me that two months is not enough time to throw one's life away over.

But they don't understand. They don't get that while I've told many that I loved them, you were the one that when I said it to you for the first time, three weeks after meeting you, that had me crying uncontrollably in your friend's basement. Tears streaming. Eyes scrunched up. That was how I was when I told you I loved you.

It's been five years eight months and three days since that basement. And five years six months and twenty days since the accident. Your condition hasn't changed since they stabilized you. But if it does, and you wake up, will we still be together?

20140403

Push

There he is again on the chest press machine. As he nears his final reps, he's pushing so hard that his face has turned red. So hard that all the cords of muscle in his neck as popping out inhumanly. On his final rep, if he were to let out a yell, I suspect we would all see the world in shaky cam.

It's my turn next, but my final reps won't look like his. I just don't push myself like that any more.

20140402

Years

After enough time of, what feels like, hurricane level winds ripping past your body, you lose your sense of touch. You go completely numb.

Which bring us to the worst part of falling down a bottomless pit. It isn't the paradoxical twin fears of falling forever or suddenly stopping. No, the worst part is that, once you lose all connections to the world around you, once you go numb, you have no idea how long you've been falling for. Has it been weeks? Months?


Years?