Twenty ejaculations

No sex for five days or until you feel up to it, whichever comes last. This I can understand, the lightest touch against my testicles felt like someone hanging on for dear life well past the five day mark.

The first few times you ejaculate, do not be surprised to see some blood. In my lighter moods, I picture this as white puddles with streaks of red running through. In my darker moods, I picture large blood clots that rip and tear as they get pumped out of my body, adding to the blood that comes out in the end. My partner insists it won't be like that. She insists that it will mix in the prostate, such that what comes out will be neither white nor red, but rather a rosé. Like a pasta sauce.

In two or three months, or twenty ejaculations, the reservoir build up of sperm in the prostate will be extinguished and you will truly be infertile. Of course, it's only twenty if you space them out properly, going for twenty in one day would be no different than going for two over the course of two days.

That first time you ejaculate, alone, because who wants that rosé sauce inside them, you're watching your penis intently. The porn playing in the background? It might as well be strictly audio. When the red streaks or clots or rosé sauce comes spilling out, you want to see it. But when ejaculation number one is the usual white, all you can say is, so that's what five percent of my remaining sperm looks like.